The "P" Series - The Story Behind the Image

Pressing Business ............................

A visit from Senior Analysis Dr. Kenesaul, started it all off. Without so much as an
obligatory "how do you do", he abruptly unleashed a battery of annoyingly probing questions no human alive could ever hope to answer or even make nominal sense of. I fielded his questions deftly albeit awkwardly with the same response, " I have no idea, furthermore, I have no earthly idea what your question even means ". I smiled as genuinely as possible after each question and answer exchange. Eventually he strode away, no wiser for his efforts. Now I could address more pressing business, which consisted of lunch plans, and could I work in a side trip to the dry cleaners?

Partially Aerial ...............................

Admitting to the inadequacies associated with a myopic point of view, is I assume a first step in the direction of correcting the problem. With this said, the assumptions derived, and the directions subsequently established from this way of thinking continue to permeate the surroundings. The "Herd" is obliged to march or rather saunter lock step to their ill conceived set of instructions. Our Commandant though benign enough administratively continued to formulate his decisions from a partially aerial vantage, or more accurately, disadvantage point.

Procrastinatorial ........................

The Department operated with a procrastinatorial inefficiency unparalleled in modern business.
As recently as this morning I personally witnessed a meeting resplendent with a variety of juices, regular and flavored coffees, a muffin assortment, bagels and a fifty pack of Dunkin Munchkins, convened to discuss placement of an additional water cooler, and should the water be carbonated, flavored or both. I passed by almost four hours later, only to observe an elaborate flow chart being developed to determine the ingress egress habits of our thirty-one person office. Linda our coquettish Human Resources Intern suggested naively but insightfully, we issue military grade canteens to everyone in the office. I believe a sub-committee was established to "flesh out" her suggestion.

Prescribed Elevation ...........................

Some sit on top of their Vans on make shift platforms, some comfortably sit ground level in lawn chairs, while others are content to simply stand, small children have the advantage of sitting atop a strong but tired pair of shoulders. The favorable or prescribed elevation for this years event was hands down a dear stand type contraption belonging to Jimmy "the cheek" Swanson: Jimmy managed to precariously perch himself almost thirty feet off the ground.

Posted ...................................

No trespassing, violators will be prosecuted, read the sign. We didn't care if the property was posted, heck, there was a spring fed swimming hole just a short distance beyond a rickety barbed wire fence that was the perimeter. We weren't going to be denied by such a marginal barrier. Plus, prosecution merely consisted of old man Davis chasing us with his dog, "Jennie Girl", which most of us had long since made friends with. Turned out to be a good day, we swam for hours without harassment. Carl Hunsinger who's now swelled to the size of a small utility shed, snapped the rope swing again.

Particulate ............................

Particulates, also referred to as particulate matter or fine particles, or simply put, stuff in the air, are tiny particles of solid or liquid suspended in a gas. They may range in size from less than 10 nanometres, really tiny, to more than 100 micrometres, in diameter, still tiny but huge for a particulate. Sources of particulate matter can be anthropogenic, meaning thanks to humans, or natural, meaning thanks to Mother Nature all by herself.
Some aerosols occur naturally, originating from volcanoes, dust storms, forest fires, living vegetation, sea spray, or when you loudly and embarrassingly expel a popcorn kernel from deep in your throat, while sitting in a quiet theater during the scene where Forest Gump asks Jennie, "Is he smart ?" Human activities, such as the burning of fossil fuels, and pep rally bonfires also generate aerosols. Averaged over the globe, anthropogenic aerosols, those made by human activities currently account for about 10 percent of the total amount of aerosols in our atmosphere.

Problematic Absence ...........................

Henry's attendance record contained as many entries as a seasoned mobster's rap sheet. Here half day Monday, went home with a headache. Absent all last week. Went home early (14) days in the last (6) week period. Consistently late, arriving at work punctually a paltry (18%) percent of the time based on a (2080) hour work year. Henry's attendance record renders him about as dependable as wet gunpowder. Problematic Absence is due to a variety of reasons; hang nail, bad hair day, general irritability, political differences, (18) undocumented cases of food poising, dyslexia, dyspepsia, anemia, hallucinations, Bird Flu, Hong Kong Flu, 24 Hour Flu, 16, 8, and 3 Hour Flu, Chimney Flu, dry mouth, cold sweats, a variety of non-specific rashes, the list goes on.

Penmanship Priestess ............................

Painstakingly, Marianne working with a bird quill and a bottle of India ink, neatly listed all thirty two states of the Union. Her younger brother working with a mud pie and a strong right arm irreversibly defiled her labor of love with one well placed toss. Enraged, the Penmanship Priestess chased down her malicious sibling and with the remaining bottle of ink proceeded to decorate him in a most uncomplimentary way.

Pour Gently ........................

You will be expected to replenish the guest's stemware whenever the level of the liquid falls to within two inches from the top. Pour gently, carelessly sullying a guest is strictly forbidden and will be met with immediate discharge. Shaking up a warm can of soda and spraying it on the guests is out of the question.